The Ego Trap (And Why It’s Costing You Clients)

Let’s talk about one of the weird things that happens when you’ve been running a business for a long time.

You start deciding that certain things are beneath you.

Following up? Basic.

Reaching out to your network?  You shouldn’t have to do that anymore.

Sending a simple email to reconnect with someone? Surely someone at your level shouldn’t need to.

Except… those are often the exact things that bring clients into your business. 

When your ego starts running the show, it can and will mess with your flow of potential clients. In this episode of the Easy Yes Energy series, I’m going to show you a few ways ego creeps into your business and how it blocks the very thing we’re trying to create: easy yes energy.

One of the weird things that happens when you’ve been running a business for a long time…is that your experience can start working against you.

Not because you don’t know what you’re doing. But because you start developing opinions about what you shouldn’t have to do anymore.

Once you’ve been in business a few years, are confident in your expertise and have a track record of delivering results, you can fall into what I call the Ego Trap.

It shows up in thoughts like:

• “I’m too established to be doing that.”
• “That tactic is beneath my level.”
• “Clients should just come to me.”

That’s your ego talking, and that line of thinking messes with your business in ways that you may never even expect. Because every time you talk yourself out of something simple that brings clients in… your business feels it.

It’s worth noting that I’m not talking about arrogance. I feel confident that if you’re listening to this podcast, you’re not running around thinking you’re better than everybody else. 

What I’m really talking about is your identity, because if you’re attached to a certain image of yourself as an “experienced entrepreneur,” you can become resistant to anything that feels, well, scrappy. 

And that resistance can cost you, clients.

In this episode, as part of the Easy Yes Energy series, I’m going to walk you through a few ways ego can creep into your business, based on my own experience and what I’ve seen working with clients for years. Because when ego shows up to play, it wreaks complete havoc on your Easy Yes Energy.

The “I Shouldn’t Have to Do That” Problem

One of the most expensive thoughts experienced service providers have is this: “I shouldn’t have to do that anymore.” 

I get it. Once you’ve done this for a while, you start to think that you’ve graduated past certain things.

For service providers, I’m talking about: 

• Following up with potential clients. 
• Reaching out to people in your network.
• Reintroducing yourself to people you know.
• Talking about your services more directly.
• Sending a simple email to check in with someone.
• Asking for referrals.

It’s really easy to start to feel like these things are beneath you. So instead of sending the email… You sit there refreshing your inbox, wondering why no one is reaching out.

And if that’s you, consider this a loving call-out on that bullshit.

I’ve run a business for over 20 years, and guess what? I still do those things because that’s what a service business requires. And every successful service business owner I know also does those things.

So if this is you, I encourage you to figure out WHY you believe that to be true. Is it because you’re simply being avoidant? You feel awkward? Don’t you have a system? Or are you buying into bullshit ideas from celebrity entrepreneurs who are pushing their easy-button solutions?

Service businesses are about people and fostering and nurturing relationships, so they're never going to go away. People do these things because they actually work, and when your ego tells you you don’t need to, you’re doing your business a serious disservice. 

The Lie of “That’s Beneath Me” 

Another version of this shows up when people dismiss tactics too quickly. I’m going to be brutally honest here, I see this ALL the time.

Someone shares or suggests something really simple, and instead of giving the idea consideration, the immediate reaction is to shut it down.

In these cases, it’s the Ego Trap showing up and telling you that it’s “too basic”, “for beginners,” or “not sophisticated enough.”

Again, this is more bullshit. Just because something is simple doesn’t mean it’s not right for you. When your ego gets in the way like this and lies to you, it’s also going to waste your time, energy and possibly your money.

In poker, there’s something called Fancy Play Syndrome, where players make decisions based on wanting to look smart, rather than strategy-based moves. The more experienced you are as a business owner, the more likely you are to engage in this type of behavior.

The result is that you end up overcomplicating the hell out of things and overlooking the simplest, most strategic way to handle things. 

For example, let’s say you need to book more clients, but instead of emailing past clients or referral sources, you decide you need to create a new lead magnet and funnel. Instead, you build the funnel, spend two months tweaking it… and still don’t have a single conversation with a potential client.

All because someone “at your level” should be doing something more… sophisticated. Meanwhile, the simplest move is sitting right there, staring you in the face.

Obviously, you get to decide what you’re willing to do (or not do) as a business owner, but most of the things that actually result in clients coming through the door are incredibly boring. And that’s kind of the point, so why would you keep making it harder than it needs to be? 

The Hidden Risk of Being Experienced 

Another way the Ego Trap shows up is through experience itself.

When you’ve been doing something for a long time, you develop strong opinions about how things work. And sometimes those opinions are based on a version of the market that no longer exists.

What worked even a year ago might not work the same way today.

Here’s an example from my own business. I’ve been a writer my entire career. I started writing blogs for clients back in 2007, and web copy not long after. Writing has literally been the foundation of my business for nearly two decades.

So when AI showed up in 2023, I was… let’s just say not thrilled. (Actually, that’s putting it nicely. I was pretty hostile.) 

Because it felt like something was showing up to replace a skill I’d spent over twenty years building.

And then you layer on top of that the last couple of years in the market with buyers acting differently, sales cycles getting longer, people asking more questions, and it would have been very easy for me to just dig my heels in.

To say something like: “I’ve been writing for over twenty years. I know what works.”

But that’s exactly the kind of thinking I’m talking about in this episode. I had to learn how to adapt my skills and my writing style to address this. Whether I liked it or not, the way people create and consume content was changing

So instead of staying mad about it, I had to do the same thing I’m telling you to do here. Get curious. Experiment. Be willing to change.

Most of all, stay scrappy, because while your experience is valuable, it needs to evolve with you; otherwise, it’s blocking you from potential clients. 

Being Too Precious

Another way this shows up is when people become… precious. (And yes, I’m talking to you, my people pleasers and perfectionists.)

While this may seem like something else, it’s absolutely about your ego, as while you’re trying to make everything perfect and overthinking it, you’re wasting your time and energy.

Your ego is keeping you stuck in preparation mode as you: 

• Rewrite the same piece of copy ten times.
• Keep adjusting your positioning statement.
• Tinker with your website again and again.

I’m not saying to ship shitty work or do things that will damage your reputation. You are a total professional after all, but there’s a law of diminishing returns on all that preparing. At some point, you just need to put it out into the world so you can start refining it.

It can feel very uncomfortable to put something out there that isn’t perfectly buttoned up. It can feel uncomfortable to try something that might not work. It can feel uncomfortable to look a little messy in public.

But that last 5% you’re faffing around with? No one is going to notice, and while you’re obsessing over tiny details that don’t matter, opportunities are passing you by.

Clients are making decisions. Conversations are happening. Projects are being booked. And the person booking the work isn’t always the most experienced; it’s often the one willing to act first.

You know what I tell myself when I find myself stalling this way? I light a fire under my ass by thinking about how someone with less experience is out there doing the exact opposite, doing subpar work and is still getting clients… because they’re willing to put it out into the world. 

The Identity Shift: Getting Over Yourself and Staying Scrappy

At some point, if you want to keep running a sustainable business, you have to make an identity shift.

Instead of thinking, “I’m too experienced to do that,” you start thinking, “I’m experienced enough to know what actually works.”

Because the goal of your business is not to look sophisticated, it’s to be able to book clients. 

The goal is to get clients and run a business that continues to work in the market you’re actually in.

And sometimes the thing standing between you and potential clients isn’t a lack of strategy. It’s your unwillingness to be scrappy. 

When I say scrappy, I don’t mean desperate. I mean being proactive and creative. Being willing to experiment and staying flexible. Most of all, it means not believing the bullshit lies your ego is feeding you. 

I can say with absolute certainty that if you’re willing to check your ego, change things up and stay scrappy, that will make an incredible difference to the stability and sustainability of your business. 

So, the question I want to leave you with, as you think about where the Ego Trap may be showing up for you, is: Am I protecting my ego or my business?

Because your ego doesn’t pay your invoices. Clients do.

Remember, the longer you’ve been in business, the easier it is to start protecting your identity as an expert, and seeing having to be a little scrappy as a step backward, but that might be what helps you stay in the game.